Surviving Christmas from Afar: Staying Connected, Building Community, and Prioritising Wellbeing
Image by Sabri Tuzcu on Unsplash
Whether you celebrate Christmas for religious reasons or family traditions, the holiday season can feel especially challenging when you're far from loved ones. It often stirs up a mix of joy, nostalgia, and longing, especially when celebrated from afar.
I remember when my husband and I were living in Thailand, and returning to our families in the UK wasn’t an option at the time. Our friends became our family during that season. Even though I’m originally from Thailand, Christmas for me was always about being with my family in the UK. It meant cosy evenings, wrapping up warm, and gathering at my parents’ home.
I was usually the one waking up early and dragging everyone into the living room to open presents—whether they were ready or not! Christmas dinner was always a traditional roast, and Boxing Day became an Eastern affair, often featuring Thai dishes or a seafood feast. My brother and I also had a slightly unconventional ritual of watching horror movies late into the night—our own little Christmas tradition.
Despite being far from our UK home and loved ones, our local friends made our Christmas special and festive again. They welcomed us into their traditions, and we connected with our UK family online. Having our dog with us from the UK added a real sense of family, too. We are so grateful for the friendships we made and the kindness of those who opened their homes to us during that time.
While connecting with loved ones back home is important, it’s just as vital to create a festive atmosphere where you are and prioritise your emotional well-being. This blog blends practical strategies with therapeutic approaches to help you stay connected, embrace your new community, and nurture self-compassion this Christmas.
1. Stay Connected with Loved Ones Back Home
Maintaining bonds with family and friends overseas is essential for feeling connected, even when the miles separate you. You may already be well-versed in this—COVID made sure of that!
Plan a Virtual Celebration: Schedule a specific time for a video call on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. Make it festive by dressing up, decorating your space, or sharing a virtual toast.
Exchange Care Packages and Letters: Send a personalised care package filled with small, meaningful items or a heartfelt handwritten letter. These thoughtful gestures can bridge the physical distance.
Host a Virtual Game or Movie Night: Watch a Christmas classic together or play an online game. Shared experiences help recreate the warmth of togetherness.
Gratitude Exchange: Take turns reflecting on what you’re grateful for in each other. Share these reflections via a call, text, or letter to deepen your connection
2. Embrace Your Current Home
Creating a festive, welcoming environment and building relationships in your new community can make Christmas feel brighter.
Decorate Your Space: Add festive touches to your current home to make your space feel warm and inviting. Even if it’s not quite where you want to be, you can still create a festive environment you can enjoy. You deserve it!
Host a ‘Friendsmas’ Celebration: Invite neighbours, co-workers, or local friends for a holiday meal, drinks, or dessert night. A potluck-style event can make it more relaxed and inclusive. It’s also a way of getting to know the people in your community and what they enjoy, whilst sharing a little piece of you.
Explore Local Christmas Events: Attend nearby markets, light displays, or cultural celebrations. Immersing yourself in local traditions helps you embrace your surroundings and create new memories. You can also share your local experiences with faraway loved ones through stories, photos, and videos.
Share a Taste of Home: Cook a traditional dish from your culture and invite others to join you. Sharing food is a powerful way to connect and introduce your heritage to new friends.
3. Build New Connections in Your Community
Strengthening bonds with the people around you can help you feel less isolated and more at home during the holidays.
Volunteer Locally: Get involved in a community project, like helping at a food bank or holiday event. Volunteering not only helps others but also fosters a sense of fulfilment and belonging.
Start a Secret Santa or Gift Exchange: Suggest a small gift swap with co-workers, classmates, or neighbours to spread holiday cheer.
Join a Workshop or Club: Many community centres offer holiday-themed activities like cooking classes or craft sessions. These are great ways to meet people and enjoy the season.
Reach out to local friends: You might be surprised by how willing others are to welcome you into their homes and share their Christmas traditions. The holiday season is a time of giving, and many people enjoy sharing their celebrations with others. Don’t let the anxious part of you keep you shut in and alone if you’d rather connect. Reaching out to your local friends and community is a great opportunity to exchange stories, explore new traditions, and deepen your connections.
4. Practise Self-Compassion and Prioritise Wellbeing
Being far from loved ones can stir up complex emotions, so it’s important to care for your mental health and approach yourself with kindness.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel sadness or loneliness. Instead of judging these emotions or criticising yourself for the life choices you made, meet them with understanding. Remind yourself, "This is hard, and it’s okay to feel this way. This season is temporary, and so are the feelings.” Remember that the choices you made were right for you at the time. You had your reasons, and they’re valid, despite the ups and downs of your journey.
Set Boundaries: Staying connected is wonderful, but too much time on social media or calls can be draining. Allow yourself to step back when needed. If solitude is what you need, gift yourself just that this Christmas.
Reflect and Reframe: If you’re feeling left out of traditions, try shifting your mindset. Instead of focusing on what’s missing, try reframing it as, "I’m creating my own special holiday memories."
Journal Your Gratitude: It may sound cliché, but try writing down what you’re grateful for, even if it’s small things like a cosy blanket or a friendly smile from a neighbour. Gratitude can help shift your perspective.
5. Create New Solo Traditions
If you’re spending Christmas solo, it can still be meaningful and enjoyable with a little intention.
Solo Activities: Treat yourself to something festive, like baking cookies, going for a winter walk, or spending the day in your pyjamas watching Christmas films. Time is often what we have on our hands during the holidays; this is a great opportunity to indulge yourself in something you may not usually get a chance to do or have been putting off doing.
Mindful Holiday Rituals: Perhaps that’s lighting a candle, and listening to the kind of music you need - would that be something calming or uplifting? Grounding yourself in the present with nature-watching, mindful writing, colouring, or crafting can ease feelings of anxiety or overwhelm.
Gift Yourself: Buy or make something special for yourself, whether it’s a new book, a comforting meal, or simply the gift of time to rest and recharge.
6. Give Back and Find Meaning
Acts of giving can be incredibly uplifting and help you feel connected to others.
Volunteer for a Cause: Spend part of your Christmas helping out at a shelter, food bank, or community event. Giving back can bring a sense of purpose and joy.
Random Acts of Kindness: Surprise neighbours or colleagues with small tokens of kindness, like homemade cookies or a thoughtful card or craft.
Shared Family Giving: If you’re far from family, plan a shared act of kindness. Perhaps everyone donates to a cause or performs small acts of goodwill in their communities.
7. Look Ahead with Hope
While this Christmas may feel different, setting aside time to focus on a hopeful future can bring comfort, insight, and excitement.
Plan Next Year’s Celebrations: Think about how you’d like to spend the holidays next year, whether it’s visiting loved ones, hosting them, or creating new traditions.
Reflect on Your Year: Use this time to journal about your growth, challenges, and hopes. Acknowledging your resilience can be empowering.
It’s Okay to Start Over: Reflection can bring valuable insight. If it reveals that your current living situation or location doesn’t feel right, remember that it’s okay to change your mind and start fresh. Life isn’t about getting everything perfect on the first try—you have the freedom to create new opportunities and paths.
Visualise the New Year: Set gentle, self-compassionate goals for the months ahead. Instead of pressure-filled resolutions, focus on intentions that nurture your well-being.
A Compassionate Christmas, Wherever You Are
Celebrating Christmas from afar doesn’t mean it has to feel less special. By connecting with loved ones, embracing your current surroundings, and practising self-compassion, you can create a holiday season that feels warm, fulfilling, and uniquely yours. Whether it’s through new friendships, personal traditions, or simply taking time to care for yourself, this Christmas can become a time of growth, joy, and connection—both near and far.
If you'd like to learn more about how therapy can support you, I’m Star, an experienced therapist supporting adults from multicultural and international backgrounds. Don’t hesitate to contact me for a free 15-minute introductory chat.