Online counselling - more than just flexibility
Image by BRUNO CERVERA on Unsplash
By now, most of us are used to meeting online for work or catching up with friends and families. Counselling online has also become more popular since the pandemic. It’s convenient and it gives us more flexibility and a larger pool of counsellors beyond our local areas. I enjoy counselling online for these same reasons. But having worked online over the past few years, I’ve found that there are more benefits than I initially thought.
Here are four additional benefits I’ve found with online counselling:
Focused but informal
Online counselling feels much more focused than a face-to-face meeting. I’ve found that the focused view with minimal external factors allowed me to connect to my client’s emotions more easily. I can get a good sense of their moods each time we meet, and the emotional shifts that may occur during the session. The non-verbal cues in the client’s expressions are much clearer to pick up than originally expected. All of this has helped the therapeutic relationship to develop quickly, which is vital for the therapeutic outcome.
Despite the focused nature of online interactions, online counselling offers a sense of informality, helping the session to feel more relaxed, since you are in your own familiar environment and can make yourself as comfortable as you want. As much as I loved my counsellor’s sofa, there were subtle social norms that we generally adhered to when in the company of another person in their space. During online sessions, my clients can wear what they want, bring their pets, and have their creature comforts with them, to help them feel more at ease.
It also feels more relaxed because we’re not rushing to get to the appointment, hurrying to get somewhere afterwards, or facing the abrupt transition back to reality at the end of the session. You can have a few minutes to yourself in your own space, before getting back to life again.
These factors collectively create an environment conducive to talking about challenging and often emotionally charged topics.
A sense of control
Imagine being in a face-to-face meeting, delving into deeply personal and difficult matters. You want to share what’s been buried inside you for so long, but it suddenly feels too much to let it out into the world with another person in the room… looking at you. This can be very difficult for some people.
The shame associated with our experiences can be a formidable barrier, making it feel too overwhelming to verbalise. We may want to end the session, run out of the room, or cover ourselves up and shout “Don’t look at me!” - all may sound quite dramatic in our logical mind, so instead, we may just hold back and continue to keep it hidden.
The ability to control the camera, turning it on or off as needed, is an empowering tool. I invite my clients to do this when needed - the power is in both our hands, not just the therapist. Transitioning to an audio-only session serves as a valuable respite, so my clients can process their thoughts and emotions without the added pressure of being seen, or fear of being judged.
Many deeply painful thoughts, feelings, and experiences have been released and processed in this way. And when you’re ready, you can turn on the camera again.
Benefit from the online disinhibition effect
John Suler (2004) wrote about online disinhibition in CyberPsychology & Behavior - “While online, some people self-disclose or act out more frequently or intensely than they would in person.”
It may feel difficult to authentically express yourself or talk about your thoughts and feelings freely. Maybe you’re shy, more introverted or anxious about sharing painful experiences in person. The online disinhibition effect can make it easier to externalise your thoughts and feelings, as it reduces inhibitions and restraints. In a supportive environment with an experienced online counsellor, the disinhibition effect can be safely harnessed and managed.
There’s an underlying sense of ease and safety with counselling online. You are in control of your camera, audio, and your environment, down to the ‘End meeting’ button. The power balance is more equally distributed, which can help us to engage with our different personas more easily.
Gift of distance
And my final point (so far), is a gift of geographical distance from your counsellor. This has been a surprising positive factor for many people - to know that there’s an unlikely chance of their counsellor knowing the people in their life. Although a counselling session is a confidential space, the comfort of knowing that you will not bump into them, or share the same local Facebook groups or contacts can offer a great sense of privacy and security. This can help you to feel more at ease about sharing difficult experiences, some of which you may be experiencing a level of guilt and shame about.
It’s also possible to gain different insights and perspectives from working with people in different areas with a different background from you. I particularly enjoy this aspect of working online - my community isn’t defined by physical proximity.
Overall, both I and the clients I’ve worked with have found online counselling to be an effective form of counselling. For some clients, it has been particularly effective for the reasons mentioned above.
Have you experienced counselling online yourself? How did you find it? If you’re interested in working together, I offer a free 15-minute introductory call, please don't hesitate to get in touch.